Looking Back, Looking Forward

O'Malley & Daly

Today marks the one year anniversary of the day I had to put my beloved O’Malley to sleep and I have been reflecting on my life. So much has changed in the last 12-16 months that it feels like an eternity has passed. This last year (plus a few months) has been full of so many changes--highs, lows, stagnations, regressions, hurts, and happiness. I am currently weeks away from my 34th birthday. If you had told me a few years ago that I would be unemployed and living with my parents at this stage in my life I would have laughed in your face. This was not part of my life plan. By now I was supposed to be a successful business woman with a husband and kids (of both the fur and flesh variety). But here I sit trying to figure out what is next. Trying not to feel like a failure. Trying to find the motivation that I once had.

I’m on the cusp of finishing a degree that will launch me in an entirely different direction career-wise. This is both exciting and frightening. The lack of positive responses (and mostly, just lack of responses) in my quest for a summer practicum is extremely discouraging and has me questioning if this is the direction I am supposed to be heading. Or I am not committed enough—should I be spending time at an SDA university campus full time for my M.Div in chaplaincy? Should I join the military’s chaplaincy candidate program? But if I did, I worry about the responsibility I have as to my beautiful epileptic kitty Daly; will I not be able to give her the care she needs? She requires a lifetime (hers) commitment and I am willing to make the sacrifices financially and personally for that.


Where is the Easy Button?

Extracurriculars

As can be readily seen my attempt to blog every day this month has been less than stellar. While my blogging as been lax, life has been anything but. Outside of the normal working days, my extracurriculars have gone into overdrive. On the first of the month my new niece was born and on the 20^th was the shower. My current class, Systematic Theology I, is kicking my butt. The reading is very difficult and my memory retention these days is not what it used to be (as my quizzes are showing). I had a quick trip to Memphis to pick up the kitty that has since adopted my mom. The dynamics between the two cats has been less than ideal. To top it all off Daly had two seizures in less than two weeks which resulted in two middle of the night emergency vet trips (Tufts in Grafton is amazing!), lots of tests and expenses, and a diagnosis of idiopathic epilepsy. She started what will become a lifetime dependency on anti-convulsion medication this weekend. Thankfully, she is still as cute as ever even if she is shaved in some funny places Daly’s epilepsy is pushing me to find an apartment closer to work as soon as possible. She has to be given her medication every 12 hours and since stress is a contributing factor to seizures, having her and Titai live in separate homes will reduce the stress for everyone involved. Unfortunately, I am now more anxious for her in addition to trying to cope with the new levels of anxiety that have come as part of my move back to Massachusetts.

My goals for the upcoming month are to (start and then) finish my paper on the Theology of the Doctrine of Creation a little early, register and pick out my classes for next semester, have my house in Memphis prettied up enough (new carpet, etc) to get rented out before the end of 2011, find an apartment closer to work, and move (with Daly). Of course I have little control over the Memphis items, but have signed on with what appears to be a good property management company so I’m praying that it goes according to plan. Not being able to have any impact on what is happening is quite frustrating for a mild control freak like me.

Daly

Here is my sweet girl. She's had a hard time adjusting to the new feline in the house. Daly is such a scaredy cat that at times her attempts to flee from Titai's presence are amusing. But she is forever and always my baby girl.

Titania: a polydactyl purring queen

It seems like Titai remembers me well. She came running across the room when I called her to come to bed. It is nice for all of us to hear her purring a mile a minute. I hope she is just as happy when we go home. It will be a very bittersweet and weepy goodbye for all of us.

Trying something new

Since I decided to try to post every day this month and this month has been super busy already, I just downloaded the Blogger app. So I am doing this post on my iPhone while listening to Wil Wheaton read Ready Player One. Of course I should be reading my homework and packing for this weekend's visit to Memphis. I am making a quick trip down to bring back my dear friend Titania - a beautiful 13 year old cat who never adjusted to family life with a now 3 year old human and a couple of dogs. I am honored to be trusted enough to adopt her and anxious for her to accept us and the move.