Statistic

Since my last post there has been a lot of change in my life that has left me feeling very much like a statistic and reeling in the wake of so much uncertainty. In February I was notified that I would soon be joining the ranks of those who had been downsized. While this wasn't a total surprise considering the lack of economical upturn at my office and some other trends I had noticed, it was still a shock that it was happening now. I was just a few weeks shy of my 11 year anniversary with the company.

A few weeks later (while still working), I found out that my beloved cat O'Malley was diagnosed with GI cancer. She had been having health problems since October and it just seemed like one thing after another--long lasting double ear infection, severe constipation & vomiting, and a resurgence of her gum disease that called for a good teeth cleaning. When the lymph node in her neck refused to go down and her weight continued to drop we did a lymph node biopsy. I got the news I was dreading: Her lymph node tested positive for cancer. O'Malley, estimated to be about 11 years old, has been with me for the past 9 years. It was just the two of us for the first few months in our new home of Memphis. She's been my comfort in times of great stress and sorrow. She's been my constant companion when I felt the most alone and unsure. And now, she had been given a terminal prognosis: just 3-6 months. Since chemo would not get rid of her cancer and only extend her life a few months but with considerable discomfort, I decided that I would honor her aversion to all things vet/needle related and treat her with steroids to help manage the pain. Now, two months after hearing the news on February 21, 2011 she is shrinking before my eyes. My only comfort when I trace her protruding spine and haunches is that she continues to purr defiantly and maintains an impeccable grooming schedule.

After much thought along with ever changing scenarios and after a short time of unemployment, I accepted a job transfer that would bring me back to Boston. Due to the short notice (just over a week to relocate back to New England) and the small issue of not only owning a house in Memphis but being woefully underwater, it was decided that I would join the ranks of the Boomerang Generation. Moving in with my parents is quite an adjustment. This house has never been my home. It has been almost 20 years since I lived with my parents full-time because I lived with my grandparents for a year before starting high school at a boarding academy and then off to college and out on my own. These first three and a half weeks have gone by quickly. It almost doesn't feel real yet. The lack of personal space feels like I'm on an extended family visit. The long week days of leaving the house before 7a and not getting home until over 12 hours later mixed with weekend visits to friends and camp give the impression that this is just a place to rest my head at night and do laundry. I feel no ownership of the room with a twin-trundle bed I sleep in--until recently, a playroom for the grandkids-- surrounded by piles of my belongings and framed photos of my nephews.

There is still a lot of uncertainty to be worked through including the possible sale of my house and consequentially how long I will need to remain a Boomerang Kid. As families are always a complicated mess of loving each other and yet being some of the most frustrating people to deal with, the other pressing question is: how long before it all implodes?

Making A Difference

Many companies these days are having annual Make A Difference Days. Mine is no exception. In the nine years I've been with the company each market has done their own project. Some of the ones I've done are organizing books for a prison library mail program, cleaning up various parks and zoo gardens, and sorting toys for a local charity. This year we teamed up with the Wolf River Conservancy and worked to clear privet in some of the protected areas around the Walnut Grove Lake area. It was fun and rewarding. (It also was a reminder that I do not like yard work.) Here are some pics from yesterday's MADD.

Beware of Radio employees wielding sharp tools

This is Lovett Lake where my group was working. We had to cross this little bridge to get to the privet.

Privet

Deer tracks from the night before

The Ghost River Trail Video

The Wolf River Ghost River Trail

Growing up my family loved to go canoeing. We spent countless Sabbath afternoons floating down the Hampton River in Virginia looking for wildlife. Just about every summer we would make the trip up to the family camp in Maine where all of the aunts, uncles, and cousins canoed down the Little Androscoggin River with our grandparents. I’ve been in Memphis for four years and still go up to Maine every summer for a father-daughter camp & canoe weekend. But I’ve never been canoeing in Memphis and being a transplant never thought that the two went together. So when my co-worker, Classic Hits 94.1 FM WKQK’s Brad Carson, invited me to join him for the Wolf River Conservancy’s Media Canoe Trip down the Ghost River Trail, I jumped at the chance. The WRC works to conserve and enhance the Wolf River corridor and its watershed as a sustainable natural resource. Believe it or not, the Memphis Sands—located on the Wolf River—are the source of Memphis’s drinking water. We met up at the Bateman Road Bridge parking area and were then shuttled to our special launch point. The standard Ghost River trip is a 9 mile ride from La Grange to the Bateman Road Bridge. But in their infinite wisdom, the WRC let us launch from their private site which cut the trip down to 4 miles and would take us through several different eco-systems including swamp, lake, and marshland sections. According to the Tennessee Department of Environment and Conservation’s website “The Ghost River section of the Wolf River received its name from the loss of river current as the water ‘flows’ through open marshes and bald cypress-water tupelo swamps. Blue trail markers show the way for paddlers through the disorienting maze of willow, cypress, tupelos, and stunted pumpkin ash.”

Bateman Road Bridge Bateman Road Landing Site--This was our meeting place and where we finished. Brad is ready to go!

The entrance to the Ghost River Trail didn’t look like much and if it were not for the blue markers I would’ve sworn we were going the wrong way and a dead end was just around the corner. There were some tight turns, but Brad and I made it through into the marsh and swamp areas. We made several pit stops along the way to learn the history of the Wolf River. Since I hope that someday you will take a guided trip on the Wolf River, I won’t spoil the stories for you but will tell you that Davy Crockett pops up. One of the most beautiful sections of the trail was Spirit Lake. It is here that you realize the vastness of nature. We could have spent hours just taking it all in. But since we were in a group—near the back, but still with the group—we trekked on to our dinner spot on the beach. A veggie wrap perked me up while Brad enjoyed the sesame chicken. We both thought a second helping of the brownies was just what we needed to finish up the final mile of the trip.

If I was on my own, I probably would've gone to the right and wrote this off as a dead end. Now I know better.

These little blue markers were a big help. They were on almost every tree when you first enter the Ghost River Canoe Trail.

The last mile was a little bit tricky as the current was much swifter than we had seen all day. But watching the sun just beginning to set and paint the bottom of the blue sky in shades of pink is not something I will forget anytime soon.

I'm ready for my next trip down the Wolf River.

Remiss

I just noticed how remiss I've been in posting. Fortunately, or would it be unfortunately?, not much has happened. Let's see (Warning! Stream of consciousness approaching!). I've been sick and am on my way back to health. I only have an annoying cough now. I was put on the church nominating committee. This is my first time on one and I'm kinda looking forward to it. We are going to start meeting Sunday mornings from 9a-noon. I hope they don't mind me bringing my Starbucks fix. A group of us did our first Dinner My Way at LadyBoyd's. The pastor has bowed out of teaching in my SS class, but his wife has stepped up to the plate. Cross your fingers. I did my taxes and have gotten my refund. I paid off one of my credit cards with it and put some money away for a new roof. One of my goals for this year is to be very proactive about paying down my credit card debt. I could do so much more with that $700+/month I send out in payments. Today is my nephew's 3rd birthday; I can't wait to see him this summer. My brother and SIL close on their houses (sale of old, purchase of new) in a few days. I'm getting an estimate on Monday for the roof repair. I think I may have just enough socked away for it. Thank goodness for small houses. O'Malley may have a problem with one of her eyes. A thicker discharge than normal. It was very runny, but that stopped. Hopefully that will clear up without a vet visit. Our new boss started this week. He seems like a really good guy. I've taken the reigns (again) and am working on the plans for the church Teen campout. We planned it the weekend of Spring Break. I hope that people can still come. I know that one of the chaperons has already taken that Friday off. I also know that three of our regulars can't make it. I voted in my first ever presidential primary. This was the first year I was able. I don't pick a party on my registration card since I like to vote based on who a person is not what the party is. Until this year, MA did not allow open voting in primaries so it was never an option. TN has open primaries. I believe that if you don't vote, you have no business talking politics. So I voted, even if I don't spend a lot of time talking politics. I had my hair cut. It's just above the shoulders and my grey adds some nice highlights. Enough rambling. Happy Thursday.

A week later...

The once glowing tree outside my office is now naked. Most of the leaves came off in the nasty storm we had this week. On the bright side, the tree in my backyard is sporting nice yellow leaves. As for me, it just the norm. I have potluck this week and will be running between churches. Unfortunatlly, until they can get a youth leader this will be standard practice. I am heading down to MS on Sunday to visit E&J's new church. As E is aware, I'm having a bit of a hard time with the fact that she is not just switching churches but denominations. But I understand why she is doing what she is and am trying to be supportive nonetheless. Work is ramping up with all of the '08 Planning. Sometimes I wonder if it is even worth it as no one here usaully bothers to ask me and just spends anyway. It's pretty hard to hold back paying something if we've already committed to it. Also, the proposed office move next summer is leaving things in the air expense-wise.

If I Could Do It Over

I have come to the conclusion that if I could do it over I would not have bought my house. (Maybe all of the mishaps with closing were God's warning and I was too stubborn to listen.) And no, I don't feel this way because of the mega-huge Palmetto Bugs that want to live inside. If I didn't have the commitment of a mortgage and only had to worry about breaking my lease I would ask for a job transfer effective immediately. I am thoroughly disgusted, discouraged, and disrespected by my boss at work. It is my honest opinion that my boss is purposefully choosing to NOT communicate or to miscommunicate information to me that is essential to my job performance. I believe that he is trying to push me out. He knows that I have worked for many years with this company and have built up professional relationships. He knows that he would have an uphill battle (because I am a female and have 7+ years of service) in an attempt to fire me. As a result I can only conclude that he is attempting to make me miserable in the hope I will resign. Why would be do this? Because I am not a Yes Man and stand up to him when I think he is not working in the best interests of the company or our Market. Sadly, I think it may be working. Like I said, right now it is my brand spanking new mortgage that is keeping me there. NOTHING MORE. I love my company and am very loyal to them. I just can't take much more.