Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Is it really that bad?
There are some times that you just have to laugh. My not-in-a-relationship status has been much talked about lately (I have not been on a date in over a year and a half). And not just by Nanny and my mom. My local married friends, all in good fun, are quick to point out any male with a wedding ring free hand. I often join in the fun. There have been a couple of "you should meet So-And-So" discussions and even get together attempts, but nothing has come of it. What I think is really funny--or is distressing the right word?--is that one of my youth class members has joined in the fun. The 15 year old called and told me that her neighbor had some questions about religion and wanted to know if I would talk to him. At first I thought it was one of her friends (a fellow teenager), but come to find out it was her single 26 year old neighbor who is looking for more than answers to religious questions. A little warning would've been nice :) I have yet to decide what I want to do with this situation as he is very anxious to start a relationship of some sort (friend, romantic, etc).
So the question I have is: Is it really that bad to be single? I have spent more of my life out of relationships than in them. This is largely due to the fact that for some reason or another my relationships don't stick. I don't any long term relationships in my dossier and know that I haven't been in one serious enough to lead to love. I am comfortable being single and am quite versed in my independence. Maybe too much so. For the most part I know what I want, what I need, and what I think. This can be rather off-putting for some people. Don't get me wrong, there are many times when I think that a helpmate would be nice. But I want the person I end up with to be a compliment for me and my personality. I do not need anyone to "complete me." That is a Disney Princess idea that I consider harmful to all who embrace it.
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3 comments:
I wouldn't say Hubband "completed me", but he definitely makes me happy on a different level than I was alone. I was happy single, though... yeah, you have your dreams of helpmate and children and such, but once you hit a certain point, IMO, you are happy with what you have and make for yourself. So. All that? Was just to say that I agree with you that single isn't bad. Doesn't mean I'll stop looking out for the ringless hands of eligible men at church functions! At least, not until you smack me on the head and say "ENOUGH WOMAN!" Until that day (catch me if you can!), you'll just have to live with it. >grin<
As much as I dislike talking about things using religion, I think I am going to have to talk religious / philosophical for this post.
Because it hits very close to home for me, personally.
The only true "complete" relationship that is and was "perfect", was that of Adam and Eve due to their creation.
The downfall is what made it "imperfect."
I think that is where it happens later that it becomes this big misconcept for the so called "perfect" relationships. Where people view the concept that relationships are meant to be perfect and to complete them both like puzzle pieces. Not whole as a family.
Adam and Eve were made "Perfect" hence the Perfect match. Yada, yada, yada.
Now, since there is SIN, as the Christian religions believe, there is no way anyone can have that perfect match, perfect relationship, perfect lover, period. Which is why you have so many perverse type relationships and a high divorce rates.
We rely too much on our senses, our particulars to weed out those who we want (not need) as mates, companions, and or life sharers. And sometimes it can end up to be as "perfect" as we can get it or not.
Besides, some relationships usually hit the best, when the one who usually are looking for one are not expecting it.
It is okay to be single....this from one who was married for 18 years and now single just as many. Yet, what my marriage gave to me was my children and a more mature outlook on relationships that I probably would not have achieved otherwise.
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