Monday, November 06, 2006

November Rain

Today's rain gives off the appearance of perpetual dusk. I am very glad that I don't have to be out driving in this mess today as I may be coming down with a cold. Sneezing and driving don't mix. Last night I did something that I've never done before. I wrote a letter to the editor of my church's publication, the Adventist Review. I tend to be a rather easy going person and have never before felt the need to voice my objections or opinions in such a potentially public way. But I just could not let this go. I read an article on Friday night which showcased particular entries from a young woman's blog. The overwhelming theme of these entries was the author's lack of a husband. The impression that there was a hole in her life and that she may never have "the most wonderful privilege to be awarded to a woman" disturbed me greatly. You can have a complete life as a single person. You don't have to be married to have an adopted or biological child. This topic is very important to me. Currently, I am the only unmarried member of my family over the age of 18 with the exception of my 19 year old college freshman cousin. I have had church members offer to pray for me because I am unwed. It is important to me that I went to college for an education and not Wife-Making 101. Don't get me wrong, there are times that I wish I had a help-mate in my life. I would love to wake up to a family each day. But that does not mean that the lack of one should overwhelm my life. The more I thought about the article, the more worked up I became. I went to the young woman's blog so that I could see for myself if it was actually a tribute to self pity. It was not. While she did have several entries about her lack of a husband, she also spent time dealing with work, friends and her relationship with God. I found her to be misrepresented in the Review article. I'm sure I would have been harsher in my letter if the blog was a complete pity party and focused on the fact that a woman needs a husband to be complete or of value. I ended up writing the following: Although I am pleased that you are open to new writing mediums such as blogging, I am disappointed in your selections from An Empty Shell in your October 19, 2006 issue. The entries that you chose to highlight focused on this young woman's desire for a husband and family, or in her own words "the most wonderful privilege to be awarded to a woman". As a single woman in her late twenties who has worked hard to successfully establish her career, I find distasteful the idea that a woman without a husband or children cannot be a complete person. In my frustration, I went to the source of your article and was relieved to find that the bogger has been misrepresented. Your selections gave the impression that her sole preoccupation in life is to be a wife. Thankfully her blog showed a much more dynamic person dealing with the pressures of work, friends and maintaining a relationship with God in today's complicated society. In the future, please take into consideration the entire blog and not a lone theme which may be considered antiquated to today's young adults. That is the end of my soap box rant for today. Don't forget to vote tomorrow.


Anonymous said...

I will look forward to seeing how the Review responds to your letter. -M

autumn said...

why is it people think you arent complete without a spouse or kids. yeah im married, but now the huge push is, when are you having kids. poeople look at me like a demon just came out of my backside when i say, we dont plan on HAVING kids, we may adopt down the road. my bad if im just not into breeding, or continuing on the family dna strand. why cant people just focus on YOUR accomplishments in life, not the added people you attach to your life?